Reflections from Vuyisa Qabaka (Thrivors S1)
Reflections from Thrivors Experience | 1/21
Over the course of the next 21-Days I will be sharing daily reflections from the Thrivors experience. There are some obvious things about being on a 21-day plant-based (vegan) diet and camping, BUT there’s a number of surprising things I learnt along the way…which will serve to shape my future and hopefully yours.
Reflection 1:
Ho’Oponopono
This was a big one for me, as I have “struggled” with my most personal relationship and usually over simple things.
Ho’oponopono is all about taking responsibility for everything that affects your state of being – the art of acceptance, forgiveness and cleansing energies.
In practice, you DO a Ho’oponopono by saying:
I’m Sorry…
Please Forgive me…
Thank you…
I Love you…
Use Ho’oponopono to seek forgiveness, reset relationship, rebuild trust or resolve conflict.
…more reflections tomorrow 🙏🏽
Reflections from Thrivors Experience | 2/21
“Focus on the Essence
Be flexible with the form”
Reflection 2:
As the first ‘Chair’ of Thrivors, I learnt the true meaning of this fairly quickly and as early as the 3rd day when we received the brief for our 1st project with 30-hours to deliver it, a caregiver appreciation day.
From that moment on and every other moment thereafter terms like flexibility and adaptability were used interchangeably many times.
“Essence is that (thing) which makes something what it is.”
The form can change, but the essence remains the same (something may exist in many forms, come from the same essence).
Reflections from Thrivors experience | 3/21
Decisions of the head 🧠 versus decisions of the heart 💖
Reflection 3
It was as early as Day 2 that Toto challenged me to “speak from the heart” that my lame attempt was soon met with “I sense that you want to say something, but speak it with compassion brother”…
…BOOM…and just like that I was caught, like a deer in headlight. I crambled in my head for an answer, but I was still rationalizing my words from “the head”. Who is the heck is this guy. Damn it. This thing is going to be harder than I thought, because I always protect my heart (from human disappointment, lies and forked tongues).
Anyway…in our daily lives (in the real world) , whether in business, hustling a deal in Africa or manuevering your way up the corporate ladder in a professional field, your decision making is mostly (like 99%) made from your head/ by your head/ rationalized by your head.
Its that thing that happens when you have 2-voices in your head, ie the hidden truth in your heart and whatever mambo jumbo that comes out of your mouth that feels connected to your brain. I’m sure you know that feeling.
The world and the work environments we spent most of time in don’t feel safe for us to speak our truth, with love and compassion (more on SPruthING in a future post). The people around us, at least in business and our professional lives, never seem “ready” to handle the voice of the heart or our genuine truth.
I left the Thrivors experience still fear the voice of my heart and still fairly head strong that “it was better” to focus on the words in my head, not the truth in my heart. Or at least the compromise is that I will attempt to ‘teach’ those around me HYBRgroup and Workinprogress first and that the true voice of heart will only be heard by my family because “those are the only people who take time to understand and still love me, even when I’m vulnerable to speak my truth”.
Peace and light fellow humans.
I love you.💕
🙏🏽
Reflections from Thrivors experience | 4/21
Win Win Win 👌🏾
Reflection 4:
Before I start, let me state upfront that “Win Win Win” is not some mantra to push the Springboks to victory in the Rugby World Cup final today…its actually a true thing, including the finger sign/ gesture.
Anyone who knows me well enough knows that one of ‘my -isms’ is constantly asking if “You are winning”, so imagine my surprise when one of the things that drives the story of unconditional love is a constant reminder of “Win Win Win”.
At face value “Win” repeated three times seems incredibly fun and marginally empowering, but to me and everyone on the camp, it became the embodiment of self actualization…let me explain…
When “I” win…
…”You” win…
…and “We” all win.
When “I” win (singular self)
“You” win (selfless gift)
“We” win (the world, the earth, everyone around us)
In other words, the selfless act of giving, should be received with the grace and gratitude, to give hope, love or joy, without a compromise or sacrifice to self, for the greater benefit of all (mankind, the environment and every living being).
Bringing context to this a little more:
Many of my amazing human friends “give” to others selflessly without reward or gratitude, yet most of the time they do so to their own personal detriment, which can lead to ill health, dis-ease, broken relationships, depression and financial ruin…”the unintended consequence of such a break down is poor of impact, broken promises and lack of progress in society or the environment.
What “Win Win Win” seeks to achieve is holistic positive impact, for self, beneficiaries and the world at large. When you do good…you too must be “win” 👌🏾
Taking this away from giving or charity or social impact for a second…consider how “Win Win Wins” can be applied in our daily lives…
…in business (doing a deal, paying market competitive salaries, performance bonuses for staff etc)
…debate/ “negotiating” compromises with your spouse
…politics (not politricks)
…services delivery (government or customer service)
…or even that moment when you’re about to pay a bribe to a traffic officer…how your “win win wins” then?
Everyday we are called upon to make decisions that may seem to be one sided in benefit, but seen differently those decisions have a ripple effect of impact…so go for the win, but remember to make it “Win Win Win”.
Continuing to win.
Remember to love one another 💕
Reflections from Thrivors experience | 5/21
Being “Intentional”
Reflection 5:
I must have heard only twice a day…”I want to be intentional with time” or “…lets be intentional with time”.
To honest very few were ever intentional with time on the camp, perhads the words didn’t have the same level of resonance for them as it was for me (and a few others).
Being intentional and being intentional with time specifically has been one major turn around at a personal level…I’m intentional with my plant-based diet, even in the face of KFC or chesa nyama and no free range chicken drumsticks formed against shall prosper. I’m intentional with cutting dairy and sugar from my diet. I’m intentional with being a permanent member of the 5am club. I’m intentional with daily appreciation and gratitude. I’m intentional with being more intentional in my actions (and their consequences).
…you get the gist of the message or do you want me to spell it out for you – “Be more intentional (intention driven) with your sh*t”, stop procrastinating and start taking control…own your shift.
Embrace a new paradigm.
Peace and light fellow humans, have an awesome week ahead. 🌻
Reflections from Thrivors experience | 6/21
SPruth – “Speaking your TRUTH with love and compassion”
Reflection 6:
What a WoW 🤯
SPruth…SPruthing has been a revelation. The only disclaimer being – to master the art of “spruthing”, you need 3 things:
(1) Willingness to speak the truth
(2) Willingness to receive the truth
(3) Willingness to love and to speak with compassion
I know that I struggle with this and I will continue to struggle with this, even now. In my daily life, I use my head to make decision and thus expect everyone to do the same. The trouble when operating with “head” is that there is little or no “heart”. When the heart is absent, then love and compassion are also absent – both in speaking and receiving.
One major tip on ‘spruthing’ is to “Start your spruth with appreciation”, this will help set the tone for speaking truth (with love and compassion) and it being received (from a place of love and compassion).
SPruthing is not about starting a debate or “constructive criticism”, but rather more about opening ones heart to the people around you. When you master spruthing, you free your heart and open your mind.
One of my big takeaways from the camp is that many people are hurt and are hurting, emotionally. The default position that society places us is to “protect” ourselves from further hurt, by hating, envy, judgement, disapproval, white lies, half truth, pushback, backstabbing, judgement etc…which collectively close our hearts.
SPruthing frees us from our judgement and pushes to own our shift, because it may seem easy to speak the truth, but not so easy to speak it with love and compassion let alone to receive it with love and compassion as well.
The next time you see me and have a SPruth to share…pull me aside and SPruth away…I’m ready to receive it 🌈
Peace and light follow humans…Go out and SPruth your way to greatness.
Reflections from Thrivors experience | 7/21
Love and FEAR
Reflection 7:
If you’ve been following these reflections, then its probably safe to say that by now you can draw a pretty strong argument that…
“Every one of us works off a love base or fear base”
And thats effectively all of us, including our world conquering Springbok rugby heroes.
If we can agree on this, then we can bring up questions around the basis of our fears and perhaps why some leaders choose to lead with fear (oppression) over love?
This particular reflection really hit home and started to manifest in the latter days of the experience. By now I was comfortable with the food (that bit is coming), camping (that will be closer to the end of my reflections) and gratitude…in fact, if you were follow my post then, you probably would started noticing I was making daily appreciation posts. So I was fairly settle in the environment, battling with head and heart but doing the dance with my head and heart.
The realisation came from a combination of perspectives and reflections arising from my childing, my mom, and the things that have shaped my life, i.e. how is it I am where I am now…a deep “process”⚡
In the base of FEAR, everything seems to be lost…sensibility, balance, grit, effort, vision and hope.
Whereas from the base of LOVE, all things seem possible…hope, vision and even Ubunye (dankie Bokke).
As you read and digest this, reflect very clear on your choices and the things that have led you where you find yourself today. As you land in the place, search for your heart by placing connecting your decision making to LOVE 💖
Friends, you are loved (at least by me).
Reflections from Thrivors experience | 8/21
It takes 21-Days to create a habit and 90-Days to turn it into a lifestyle
Reflection 8:
All hail Prof. Bruce Copely…🙌🏽
In the last week of the camp, we were blessed with the magical awesomeness of the wise Prof. Copely. As his parting gift, he shared the necessary reminder and principle of 21/90 – 21 days to create a habit and 90 days to turn into a lifestyle.
At a personal level, 21-days of being on a strictly plant-based diet has turned into a habit, I then followed this up with a 90-day commitment to make it into a lifestyle.
21/90 is also a great reminder that forming habits and shaping lifestyle takes a little more than will power and mindset.
In your commitment to changing your life, remember to take into account the time and effort it takes, then follow the process with the diligence of a Shaolin monk.
Love and hope fellow humans…staying winning 💫
Reflections from Thrivors experience | 9/21
Gratitude and Appreciate
Reflection 9:
For the life of me I couldn’t recall the exact moment that I felt a sense of gratitude in the early days of being in the camp, but I certainly recall when I really felt overwhelmed by it…the evening circle the night before my birthday, that memory will live on forever, more on that later though.
To be fair, I reckon the first real moment was probably my first plant-based meal a few hours after arrival…the food was actually really good, so there was probably a sense of relief at that moment, but gratitude for Tanith in hindsight. LOL.
I’ve never been one to take things or people forgranted and we were taught please and thank you at home, so this reflection is not really about how learnt to be grateful…Far from it, this post is more about the expression of gratitude and ‘outward’ appreciation, which can manifest in different ways.
On the camp everyone seemed to have a way of expressing their appreciation, some did it with animal noise (yes animal noises), others through service, others with hugs (serious hugs, where you feel the human energy transfer)…
…my personal favourite was when it was expressed, and for me personally, it was the evening before my birthday on 16 October. Seated in a circle, everyone in the group spoke individually about the things they appreciated about me, which filled my heart. You see, for most of the past 10-years I’ve served to support hundreds of entrepreneurs and dreamers seeking to fulfill their dreams…my experience or reflection on this is that its mostly a ‘thankless’ job. So this experience was incredible and overwhelming, rationally speaking, because people felt my impact in their lives which left me with so much gratitude and fulfillment.
Immediately following the outward expressions of gratitude, I was asked to stand in the middle of the circle and the entire group rushed in for a group hug and could feel the warmth of every human.
